1. |
Pain And Crossdressing
01:11
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Jessica - You turned me down
And I thought real hard about skipping town
Instead I'm making unprecedented change
I'm growing accustomed to the pain
The only things I like today are pain and crossdressing
The only things I like today are pain and crossdressing
Jessica - You made me cry
I hear you're still going out with the other guy
But I don't mind - I'm doing okay
I'm learning to accept the endless pain
The only things I like today are pain and crossdressing
The only things I like today are pain and crossdressing
The only things I like today are pain and crossdressing
The only things I like today are pain and crossdressing
Oh, fuck me fuck me fuck me now
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2. |
Ready For Anything
02:45
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Can you pull me away?
I burn my palms, but it feels okay
When the stove's still warm
And I'm still trying to keep hold
Are you running away?
I'm burning up, and you've cooled my skin before
I was willing to take
A little less than I was ready to give
You
Once our pockets were filled
Now we just fill 'em with our fingers
And we're looking for warmth
In the folds of our clothes
Once my hands were filled
All the spaces filled in with your fingers
That's when I was full
I was ready for anything with
You
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3. |
Bad Call
04:06
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I wanted to build a home for you and me
Since last I saw you, the feeling's grown exponentially
Now that you're not a part of my life, I'm looking for a fix that's right
And that tantrum was a bad one
I thought that you could see me for me
Was rather shocked when you thought so differently
It's been a shot in my arm - I don't get to make you my star
And a ransom would be a handsome bad call
I'm gonna work this out for me - And I hope you're happy
It took an awful lot of time to help you do the math
And all those hours, I would never give them back
And though it's suicide for me, don't wanna push you out of my memories
Or this song - Yet another bad call
If it wasn't obvious that I was serious
Then you're oblivious and blind
Though it doesn't help this moron who's got you on his mind
It was just a one night stand offered by a friend
To the end, but only of the night
Since you laid me down, I haven't stood upright
So I'm a crooked figure with a crooked set of teeth
Singing constantly, "Whoa, Mercy Mercy Me"
And there's no dentist that can save 'em
I'm crooked down to my cranium
And our last call was the very worst one
And I regret the things I said
I guess you found your happiness
And this was another of my pitfalls
I'm gonna work this out for me - Someday, I'll be happy
I'm not gonna need you for me - To make me happy
I'm gonna work this out for me - And I hope you're happy
I'm gonna work this out for me - Oh! Help me be happy!
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4. |
Relieved
04:37
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I'm supposed to be
Getting ready for my day
Instead I'm sitting here
Fear I still have things to say
I would rather be
Easy to control
Not so deep in thought
Impossible to console
This is a challenge
To have a talent that doesn't pay
I could live simply
If I enjoyed the bank
"Thank you very much-
Have a splendid day"
I wouldn't have to hide my thoughts
Behind a slate of gray
Particularly dark
In a sunset-watching screenplay
This is a challenge
To have a talent that doesn't pay
This is a torch song
I'm passing on into another plane
And tacking on my resume
Oh, to be relieved!
It's my dream
But in the last one, you were running away
Won my heat
Not good enough to make it to the main event
There it went
Pass the reefer, dude
I'm down and I don't want to think this through
Oh, to be relieved!
It's my dream
But in the last one, you were running away
From me, through a shutting door
Our friend appeared to try to cure me
It wasn't much - only a hug
God, let that be enough! Because I'm going insane!
Oh, to be relieved!
It's my dream
But in the last one, you were running away
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5. |
Ashtray
03:38
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Yet another stay in the DMH
Start the ECT - Took the ACT
Got a thirty-three - But you took my mindfulness away
I was very wrong - about where I belonged
Had a target locked in - Now my stuff's in boxes
Am I the one that's toxic?
Doesn't take long for my thoughts to go astray
Is it an ashtray, my life?
I try to press play, but it doesn't sound right
Left to be alone for another night
I'm a backup plan - You say I'm in your purse
It isn't comfy, but I guess I've lived through worse
You say you trust in me
But it's not enough to give your heart away
I was very wrong - I thought that I could do this for one night
But the next day, the warmth I had felt stayed
I'm in a bad state, my wife
I'm being honest with you - You're second in my mind
And with you, I'll be alone for another night
Husband's a CPA - I wonder what that pays
I wonder what it stands for - I didn't go to school for
this - To witness this kiss
I was so very wrong - I couldn't blow my cover
You weren't ready, but I wanted to be your lover
You didn't mean to tease
But every word you said was further coaxing me
You say I'm your gay - best friend forever
You introduced me to your friend Trevor
But I'm no longer interested in pulling knobs and levers
Is it an ashtray, my life?
I try to press play, but it doesn't sound right
Left to be alone for another night
In decay
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6. |
Calmly Delusional
04:21
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Saturday morning, drinking tea alone
Aldous Huxley sitting on the coffee table
Seven wonders - One of them is you
And I am calmly delusional
Embracing thoughts that won’t do at all
Saturday afternoon, alone with a brew
Go to the kitchen - Cooking up my own stew
Stir the pot - It’s all that I’ve got
Calmly getting delusional - I won’t make no excuses, y’all
I am letting sanity fade - Staring slack-jawed up at the rain
I’m trying not to think about you
Instead, I think of evil I could do
I can’t focus for the knife of me
Razor life - I hope that’s alright
Saturday evening, nothing in my plans
I told my sister I was busy with the band
I told the band I was working overtime
I told the boss I couldn’t come in tonight
I told the Postman to say I wasn’t in
I told myself not to ask no stupid questions
But he told me to go pick up his guitar, and
Accepting calmly delusional
No worries when you let your conscience flow
I am letting insanity come
‘Cause the more you think, the more you feel dumb
I am calmly delusional
Embracing thoughts that won’t do at all
Can’t get back when you’re in this deep
Maybe this time, I won’t just sleep
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7. |
||||
I was only trying to have some fun
Before you said that ya had to run
I wonder if you’ll make it through
I’ve known a couple who played it cool
I said, “I think you’re wise - I read your book”
You said you think I’m clever, and gave that look
I could be wrong, ‘cause I got my doubts
I wonder if you’ll make it out
Don’t go up to the man in the sky
Without giving me a kiss goodbye
I saw you first, but now I’ve seen your picture around
I would follow you down
I was only trying to have some fun
Before you said that ya had to run
I wonder if you’ll make it through
I’ve known a couple who played it cool
But it’s not cool if you end up the same way
On repeat, the last song that you played
I ain’t been bored in months, but I’ll get there
If you can’t get used to the big scare
I was only trying to have some fun
Before you said that ya had to run
I could be wrong, ‘cause I got my doubts
I wonder if you’ll make it out
Don’t go back to the corner store
That’s enough, if your head is sore
I hope you last, but I’ve see your picture around
You’ve got a brand new frown
Did not see it when we were tight
Though I saw you through a couple of nights
And any second, I’m afraid you’ll choke
On your father’s favorite rope
I was only trying to have some fun
Before you said that ya had to run
I wonder if you’ll make it through
I’ve known a couple who played it cool
I said, “I think you’re wise - I read your book”
You said you think I’m clever, and gave that look
I could be wrong, ‘cause I got my doubts
I wonder if you’ll make it out
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8. |
Head Of A Boy
02:20
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Head of a boy
Up in a state
Ahead of the times
But born too late
Where is he looking now?
Face of a girl
Impressed in his mind
Isn't she pretty?
Isn't she fine?
Why is she looking away?
Pensively piercing
Peers at the palace
Guess that'll do, though
Broken and callous
Ballast the boots
Bastille day is coming
Batten the hatches
Blow off the summons
Call them the kippers in Texas
Ones that are whispering hexes
I didn't vote for the elected
Wonder if I will get beheaded
Head of a boy
Lost in a cave
Echoing info
Out for his fate
Why is he looking down?
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9. |
Lumiose
03:29
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I didn't jump today
I'm gonna say that again tomorrow
For a minute, I thought I was sane
And thought I heard the voice to follow
Because nothing's really anything
I'm barely alive, or I'm dying
So I might as well make it interesting
Before I'm gone
I think I'm over the loss today
But I'll be back again tomorrow
For a year, I've gone back and forth
Looking for the voice to follow
Because nothing's really anything
You live how you want, or you fall asleep
And the last time's not worth anything
So I am gone
I'm never going back to-
I'm talking back to-
I'm taking back my-
I'm changing up my-
I'm losing my mind
I'm doing what I want
I might as well be a star today
And might as well burn out tomorrow
I had a handful of something good
I'll have a little more for the ride home
Because nothing's really anything
You take what you want, and you fall asleep-
I wasn't even trying, because it didn't make any sense
Too many what-if's will serve me early
I'm never going back to-
I'm talking back to-
I'm taking back my-
I'm changing up my-
I'm losing my mind
I'm doing what I want
Doing what I want
It's what I want
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10. |
Return Letter
08:58
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I've caught a feeling
Maybe you were right - Maybe this is all
Up at my ceiling
Into the light - And on my walls
My heart is seeking
Feelings that feel right - Feel like they won't fall
What is this 'sleeping'?
I stay up every night - I stay out of sight
I'm still afraid that I'll run across your way
With nothing new to say - Nothing to explain
All my analogies and my apologies
My folding to my knees won't sway you back to me
I was caught stealing
In my peripherals - Shoulda made my call
Was she worth keeping?
I won't ever know - Moving way too slow
I've just been creeping
Taking my sweet time making up my mind
My heart's been seeking
Something that reminds - Something that is like
Something I used to like
Something that tasted right
When placed upon my tongue
Inhaled into my lungs
Something for which I've sung
An oxytocin drug
A bee that hasn't stung
They only get to once...
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11. |
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